Narrative

When things are hard it’s usually because they are unstable or uncertain. My tendency is to buckle down and barrel through the difficulties. For others, the pattern is avoidance and rumination over the unfairness of it all. Neither method works particularly well in the long term. When it comes to feelings, the piper will always need to be paid. I’m finally coming to terms with the simple fact that I must engage with the inevitable instability of life. In practical terms, this mostly means understanding that control is an illusion. And when I can let go in this way, everything is actually easier. On days like today, I feel peaceful and calm.

Practicing

Any quiet moment or contact with the world could be the homemade prayer your body speaks without needing to say a word. —James Crews, Endless Ways to Pray

Using my 50mm lens exclusively these days. I do not often take pictures with a wide aperture, preferring instead to include a bit more depth and detail in my images. But it’s part of an assignment for my year long online course to give it a try—that shallow depth where only a very small sliver of the frame is in focus. To be honest, I was feeling fairly rebellious about the assignment. I don’t really like to work to a prompt or anything that even remotely feels like homework. Still, I know I can be stubborn, and this blocks me from learning. So I gave in and walked around trying to see opportunities to use the 50mm lens at f1.4 or 1.8. It was a stretch, but I did it.

Lean on Your Emotional GPS

I’m just finishing up two really wonderful books. The first is a novel, Whistler by Ann Patchett. I’m a big fan of her work, and this one is especially enjoyable because my youngest son bought it for me at the National Book Fair in Washington, DC, had it signed by the author, and then mailed it to me. This is what love feels like.

The second book is non-fiction. Why We Suffer and How We Heal, by Suzan Song, MD, PhD. There are so many thoughtful passages in this book, and it really is a worthwhile read. Here’s an excerpt (taken from pages 83 and 86):

While studies are clear on the benefits of gratitude, I’ve found that at times, a singular focus on gratitude can minimize real struggles and encourage a form of toxic positivity, avoiding or suppressing the agonizing but needed emotions.

Lean on your emotional GPS. Each day, reflect on what made you feel proud, loved, and inspired—three core emotional cues to motivation, connection, and meaning. Allow these feelings to guide your mind toward what matters. Just like a GPS recalibrates your route when you’re off track, your emotional GPS signals can redirect you toward what gives you energy, connection, and purpose.

Proud. Taking these photos of beautiful subjects and making the most of the light and the environment.

Inspired. Meeting a friend for an early morning breakfast of chicken minis and heart-to-heart conversation.

Loved. When my husband joyfully agreed to take me to the persimmon tree at the Courthouse, then to Hick’s Landing on the river, and finally to pick the last of the season dahlias at Braehead Farm, even though he had already done his morning chores and was ready for a rest.