The Truth Will Set You Free
But not from constraints, responsibilities, or commitments.
I’ve read a lot of self-help books over the last ten years or so. So many that I’ve promised my therapist I would stop trying to help myself in this way. Too much of a good thing. Too much trying. And still, when my friend recommended the book Joyful, Anyway by Kate Bowler, I bought it right away and dove in.
I’m glad I took the chance. I can usually tell within the first few pages of a book or the first few lines of a post, if it’s for me. I generally steer clear of anything that promises to make me happier, healthier, smarter, richer and so on with 5 easy tips or 10 proven strategies. I feel deep disappointment when people over promise and under deliver, which happens so often, that I am fairly suspicious of high expectations and positive vibes. I’ll put forced gratitude in this category, too.
But this book is different, and I find that simply reading the truth as I know it to be is making me feel significantly more peaceful, accepting, and yes, joyful. I’m only up to page 49, but here are a few of my favorite passages.
On deep bittersweet longing. That’s who we are; humans are the species with a hole inside us.
Don’t we always feel a gap in our lives? At this moment aren’t we all missing someone, managing a loss, or struggling to achieve something just beyond our grasp?
We are never enough for ourselves and we always want more. . . This is doubly painful because we feel ashamed of our inability to feel grateful.
The most unforgivable things will happen to you. What happens, happens. And there will be no apology.
We want to carry it all with love, with grace. And this. There are always loads to be carried.
Sometimes we feel like we might burst because it is all so much—too much—and yet never enough.
We cannot truly have everything. Or even most things.
It’s not that I am pessimistic or apathetic or even that I will stop trying. It’s more that I am finally conceding that there cannot be joy without suffering.