Standing on Ceremony — Donna Hopkins

Please make yourself at home. There is no need to stand on ceremony.

I often hold back on my true feelings to avoid even a hint of conflict. These are patterns of behavior that served me well as a young child, but as an adult, they have wreaked havoc on my relationships. And I am changing my ways.

Tired of acting overly or unnecessarily polite, I find myself in a kind of fog. The way forward is not clear. I don’t want to be difficult. But I need to find a way to be in connection with others without losing my sense of self along the way.

What do I want? This question that I have so seldom even considered is now at the top of my mind.

Even though drinking coffee or tea or wine are all socially expected, I don’t really like any of them. It sounds like this. No thank you. I prefer water.

Joy feels good. Depriving myself of foods that I love, in the name of wellness or health, feels like a thief trying to steal that joy. I’ve been using a continuous glucose monitor to help me prevent my prediabetes from becoming full on diabetes as though it was my life’s work. It’s time to let that sh*t go. It sounds like this. I’ll wait and see how my lab results look without making predictions that I’m not doing enough to change my lifestyle.

I’m not standing on ceremony anymore.