The Bigger Picture — Donna Hopkins

I love words like growth mindset and neuroplasticity and cognitive behavioral therapy. For me, these words represent hope and change and love and evolution. I try to balance these parts of myself, those that are stubborn and fierce and sometimes relentless in their pursuit of what might be better, with the other parts. Those that are peaceful and content and balanced and grateful and relaxed and accepting. This is a tightrope that I walk everyday. And, if I am honest, most of the time, it’s more like I am bouncing up and down on a see-saw than carefully stepping heel-to-toe on that tightrope. I find the whole process exhilarating.

Four Seasons & Ivy | Donna Hopkins, 2016

From Katherine Metzelaar, Shifting the focus: Praising what truly matters

What if we focused on praising qualities that really matter in others and in ourselves—like kindness, strength, or creativity? What if you celebrated what your body can do, rather than how it appears?

Here are some examples that you can try:

For Your Own Body:
“I’m really proud of my body for carrying me through today, even when I felt tired.”
“I’m thankful for my body for allowing me to move in ways that feel good.”
“I appreciate my body for nourishing me and helping me show up every day.”
“I’m proud of how my body has healed and grown over time.”
“I’m thankful for the energy my body gave me to accomplish everything today.”

For Another Person:
"You bring so much warmth and kindness to everyone around you."
"Your sense of humor always brightens the room."
"I admire how thoughtful you are"
"You inspire me with how dedicated you are to your passions."
“You have such a calming presence; I always feel at ease around you.”

By shifting the focus, you remove the pressure tied to appearance and help others feel valued for who they are, not just how they look.

Four Seasons & Ketchup | Donna Hopkins, 2025

From Annie Wright’s post When Your Professional Strengths Become Your Relationship Blindspots, “Emotional responsiveness is the bedrock of a secure relationship.”

My husband and I read every word of this article together as we work on securing and strengthening our marriage of 44 years. This work is absolutely worth it!