Soft Focus
“Letting there be room for not knowing is the most important thing of all.” —Pema Chödrön, Buddist Teacher
There’s a difference between hypervigilant scanning and mindful awareness.
Hypervigilant scanning is driven by anxiety and focused on threat detection; it is narrow, tense, and exhausting. Mindful awareness, on the other hand, is driven by curiosity and openness. It is expansive, relaxed, and energizing.
The practice of mindful awareness involves soft focus: a relaxed attention that can take in multiple streams of information without fixating anxiously on any one particular thing. It allows us to appreciate where we are right now. Aware and relaxed simultaneously. Soft focus is what allowed me to notice these beautiful fall anemones blooming outside the Arby’s in Ashland, even though I was hungry (way past lunch time) and even though I wasn’t on a “photo walk” and even though the setting wasn’t necessarily picturesque.
Donna, October 2025, taken with Yashica T4, Kodak Gold 200
I couldn’t have chosen a better hobby than photography for myself. Maybe chosen is the wrong word; it feels as though I kind of stumbled into photography. At first, taking pictures was another achievement for me. Something to master. For a while, I tried to make it into a small job, a side hustle. And many times, I thought about giving it up entirely. I am glad I kept at it. Because, over time, photography became a powerful healing practice in my life. (I am recovering from relational trauma.)
Photography provides me with consistent, gentle experiences that teach my nervous system about present-moment safety.
Sometimes, like this one where I was photographing the anemones, I start out with sharp, distinct focus as I begin the work. Then I settle in. And I end up with soft, relaxed focus. I wonder if this is why I like film so much. It gives me the latitude to step away from the immediacy of picture-taking (which, let’s face, is what digital photography is all about: instant feedback). The film approach suits me.