I’m not a big fan of Valentine’s Day and the expectations that come along with it. But I’m thinking a lot about relationships and how I’ve been given so much — and how I might give back.

Robin Wall Kimmerer, in Braiding Sweetgrass, asks

“What are the key elements for detecting loving behavior?”

From Braiding Sweetgrass

my list of loving behaviors:

  • nurturing health and well-being

  • protection from harm

  • encouraging individual growth and development

  • desire to be together

  • generous sharing of resources

  • working together for a common goal

  • celebration of shared values

  • interdependence

  • sacrifice by one for the other

  • creation of beauty

In the chapter, Epiphany in the Beans, Kimmerer describes what it is like to love a garden and know with certainty that it loves you back. I’m paraphrasing her words, drawing from the understanding that love is love, whether it be for people or places or things or the earth itself.

Knowing that you love someone changes you, activates you to defend and protect and celebrate. But when you feel that love in return, that feeling transforms the relationship from a one-way street into a sacred bond.

When we write, Be my Valentine, we are simply asking to be loved. My husband and I went over the list together and talked about the ways we show love to each other and the ways we could do better.

Best Valentine’s gift ever!