It seems that creativity isn’t as much as about making something as it is about feeling something. I feel it on a hot summer day when I walk through the peach orchard, fallen fruit squishing beneath my feet. I feel it in certain conversations. With old familiar friends. I feel it when someone I love is in pain. I remind myself that we can withstand hurt and sadness. I am tender-hearted and all of this feeling threatens to overwhelm me. I think this is why I need to take pictures.
In my younger years, my focus was on productivity. There was always something that needed doing or someone who needed caring for. Life was about checking things off a To-Do List. When we traveled it was always to get somewhere, and stops along the way were detours, inconveniences, and slowed us down in ways we could not afford or would not allow. I vowed to myself that I would not leave this earth without giving myself the freedom to slow down. There are still days with appointments and commitments. Still chores and errands and unexpected happenings. I understand that aging is a messy, imperfect, and unique experience. But most days, I make time to wander. My husband is incredibly supportive of my need to explore and mostly, he is this way, too. We never know where we will end up each day, what we may find, or who we may meet. We only know that elderhood feels like the open air.
“What are your goals? What gives you purpose and meaning? What will bring you joy today? If you want to change your worldview, change the questions that you ask of yourself and others.” —Ageism Unmasked, Tracey Gendron
One of the things I love most about this season of life is that there is time to enjoy a leisurely breakfast. It is a gift not to have to rush to be somewhere. To let go of productivity as a measure of my worth. We enjoyed Sunday breakfast on the screened-in porch, overlooking the woods, sun streaming in. Breakfast now is not defined as “healthy” or “balanced.” It is described as pleasurable. A flaky biscuit with butter and jam. Fresh cantaloupe from Snead’s Farm. A sausage patty. Steaming hot coffee with lots of cream and sugar. The way the light falls at this time of morning soothes me. The contrast of light and dark seems not only manageable but also necessary and even beautiful.
I snapped a few pictures. Happy to share this small thing I have noticed. When I think about a title for this post, I search the words, “finished breakfast,” and it turns out there is a whole category of such images. On Getty Images alone, there are over 5000 images tagged as “finished breakfast.” And this makes me happy, too. If there are over 5000 ways to notice the simple act of finishing breakfast, to notice nourishing ourselves and those we love, to begin each day with a fresh start, then surely there is hope. Where we increase curiosity and remove judgement. Where we embrace who we are and make peace within ourselves by focusing on being.
I feel like now is the time to transform those old, unhelpful patterns. Opportunities for growth. They are all hard. But they are a chance to do healing work that will open the doors for a better future. I’m digging in, working things through step-by-step.
