My mother had a favorite saying. “In another life, I could have been . . .” She usually filled in the blank by saying she could have been a singer. Truthfully, she wasn’t a great singer but she put her whole heart into singing and she was lit from within whenever there was music. Of course, she was right in many ways. Singing was not a career that ever would have been available to her. She needed to earn money and working in the family restaurant business wasn’t just an offer, it was expected. No, really it was demanded. And so she spent her life cooking and serving food. It was a good life, but I always sensed that she felt she might have missed out on something. I get it. When I was student there were only a few options presented for work, specifically women’s work. No one ever opened a door to creative work or an artful life. I am ever grateful that I did not have to wait for “another life” to discover creative expression—photography and poetry and writing. And all of the many ways to behold life.
Farm House | Olympus om-1, Kodak portra 400
I’ve been reading a beautiful essay, Navigating the Mysteries by Martin Shaw, in Emergence Magazine, Volume 3. There is so much to think on in his words.
“My petition is that we accept the challenge of uncertainty. As a matter of personal style. It’s the right thing to do. It’s what the Anglo-Saxons called ‘living in the bone-house.’ We get older, we find life is riven with weirdness. We should be weird, too. To know, tell, and create stories is a wondrous skill that keeps faith with the traditional and beauteous techniques our ancestors used when faced with the sudden mists and tripwires of living.”
Every picture is a story, a way of beholding the world. This what I love about photography.
The concluding lines of this essay inspire and uplift.
“What are we bored by, what needs to stay stay buried? What deserves to be re-imagined, re-seeded, re-beheld?
That’s where the joyful work is. I’m handing you a spade.
This a moment of unexpected possibility.”
A couple of things to share.
First of all, I got new eyeglasses. Two pairs. One pair with progressive lenses which allow me to walk and drive around in the world safely AND read a book, a menu or texts. But the really big deal is the second pair of glasses. These are specifically computer glasses, meaning the prescription allows me to see clearly while working at the computer, with the entire space of the lens dedicated to this visual correction. Both my physical therapist and my eye doctor suggested this as a means to help decrease the pain in my neck, due to arthritis, but made so much worse by the tipping of my head needed to see with my old progressive lenses. This is a game changer! I feel so much more comfortable working at the computer, processing photographs and writing/typing. But what’s really amazing is how much better I can see! At first I thought something was wrong with the monitor since everything appeared so sharp and crisp and bright. But no, it was just the help of my new glasses that made all the difference!
Next up, a recommendation for a great way to get started with film photography, if you’re interested. I shelled out the $100 for this course. Your Journey into Film Photography, taught by Willhem Verbeeck, offered by Moment. The lessons total about 2.5 hours and they are broken down into logical, easy to follow segments with everything you need to know to give film photography a try. Moment offered one short lesson (a part of the entire course) for free as a trial. I really appreciate it when companies do this. Anyway, it was the free lesson that sold me. Learning from Willhem was a lot like having one of my sons teach me, which I love. On the videos, he was down-to-earth, approachable, knowledgeable and professional. It’s pretty hard to find all of those qualities in one teacher. Most of the information I knew, or at least kinda knew, but as I suspected, there were some gaps in my knowledge base, too. I highly recommend this course as a good place to start. And for me, it’s probably all I need to know—for now, anyway. I added one of those cool fanny sling packs to my order, too. Can’t tell you how happy I am that the fanny pack has made a come back. It’s really hard for me to carry any kind of strap around my neck.
Last but not least, taking pictures with film fulfills a deep need I have for fun, a desire to play and create, and a way to leave judgement behind.
Golden Hour | Mamiya 645, Kodak Portra 400
The golden light illuminates the trail of vines through the forest, making the way clear.
Passes through the prism of the sun catcher, through the linen curtain, onto the white wall of the living room. Light dancing everywhere, like sparkling sand.
Untangling my thoughts, allowing me to reach out from the anxiety of unknowing to something like hope. Or joy.