I’ll be 62 this month and I’ve already received wonderful birthday gifts. I’ve been working to unlearn some old patterns, allowing for a deeper understanding of myself, better relationships, a greater enjoyment of everyday life, and a loving relationship with my body.

It’s a long story and kind of personal to share in this open space. Buy if you are here, visiting with me, and you are suffering, I want you to know that you are not alone. And there is a path to a fresh perspective.

True Stories

The pollen in Virginia is awful. It’s a hard state to live in if you have allergies.

I get allergy injections once a month to help desensitize me to tree, grass and weed pollen, dust and mites, and animal dander.

I live in a sensitive body with asthma and allergies and IBS and migraines and chronic neck and back pain. When I say it all at once, it sounds overwhelming, but I have lots of help in lots of ways.

When I got my allergy shot yesterday, I waited the required 30 minutes to make sure I didn’t have a reaction. But I did. Have a reaction. This is not the first time I’ve had a reaction but it’s always scary. My chest gets tight. My head hurts. I get flushed and it feels like I’m having a whole body hot flash. I have stomach pain. I feel lightheaded. In short, I feel a lot of body distress.

The doctor ordered double doses of antihistamines and I had to remain in the office for another 30 minutes to make sure I was okay. They put me in the fun room where the doctor keeps a snazzy coffee machine for himself and the staff. There were also snacks in the cabinets so people were in and out a lot. They said they were checking on me, but every time someone came in they left with a bag of pretzels or chips.

The medicine worked and I started to feel much better within about 15 minutes. From my vantage point in my assigned chair, I couldn’t help but noticing the soft window light in contrast to the very medical looking bed where I might lie down or heaven forbid, faint.

Things I’m thinking about this morning . . .

  • from Paul Sanders’ newsletter: stop pressuring yourself to be a good or great photographer, none of us are, we are just here to enjoy our time with the camera, it is not about being the best. I say this so often but photography is not a popularity competition, yes it is lovely if people enjoy our work but the prime motivation for photography is self expression, not pleasing others.

  • projects from Kelly Burgess: this was the year i planted no roses and sing me back home

  • and how did I not know about this nonprofit arts organization advancing mental health advocacy through photography?! Too Tired Project

  • from Jamie Varon, Radically Content: “And I want to feel good. I want to be happy. I want to continue to heal. I want to be a person who understands the intricacies of joy. I want to be content. And satisfied. I am deeply earnest now.”

  • real life stuff like the beginnings of a headache, a dentist appointment this afternoon, and what the heck will I make for dinner tonight.