Over-creating

I took several versions of the Lisianthus flowers, all against a black background. It's a challenge to save the highlights of the white petals AND save the shadows of the dark backdrop. There are compromises. But eventually, a color has to sit beside another color. A photograph has to leave my mind's vision and make it's way onto the page. Making something is a way to make a decision; it closes the loop of endless thoughts. This feels good. It lets my mind rest. Because not every problem is a life or death choice.

I love this take from Ayushi Thakkar on how over creating can help calm over thinking:

over creating helps because volume lowers the emotional stakes.

one unfinished paragraph can feel like evidence of failure when it is the only paragraph. ten attempts become practice. one abandoned idea can haunt a person for months. a folder full of fragments feels more like a working mind. the overthinker tends to make every act carry too much meaning, so creating more spreads the meaning out. each attempt stops being a referendum on talent and becomes one item in a larger body of evidence.

Self-trust

I’ve made progress in trusting myself. It’s not that I don’t value other people’s opinions and feedback; I do. But I have learned to consider whose opinion deserves access, what kind of access it gets, how deep I let it go, and whether it is actually wiser than my own knowing.

Take a Real Break

Really good advice from Awaken Joy by Barbara Heffernan for those times when I am overwhelmed and overloaded. Take a real break.

This is the tool people most resist. When you are overwhelmed and overloaded, taking an hour away from everything feels like the last thing you should be doing. It is not.

Stress makes the brain single-minded. It activates only a narrow band of what is available to us, and it is exactly the wrong state for problem-solving. Solving problems requires the whole brain working — memory, intuition, emotional processing, and rational thinking all integrating together. A real break is what brings the whole brain back online.

The break needs to be a genuine one: a walk in nature, playing an instrument, time spent doing something that is actually fun and feeds your soul. Scrolling on your phone or watching television does not produce the same effect. Consider this both permission and a gentle instruction. Go for a swim. Go for a walk. Listen to music. Take whatever kind of break genuinely restores you. When you return to the work, you will be more productive and better able to tackle what is on your list — not despite having taken the break, but because of it.

Sunflower Petals and Strawflowers

Happy Anniversary

Today is my 45th wedding anniversary!

In a recent substack post, Paul Sanders talks about about falling in and out of love with photography. His words speak not only to a relationship with a camera and a photographic practice, but also to a romantic relationship. Read something as someone, and you will see what I mean.

“Falling out of step with something that once held you rarely has much to do with the something itself. More often it’s a sign that life has moved on, and you’ve moved with it, so the old way in simply doesn’t fit the shape you’ve become. That’s worth treating as information to help you rather than a verdict on your ability.”
— Paul Sanders. Still, We don't talk anymore?

Our marriage endures and our love remains steady. At 45 years of marriage, we know well the realities of a long partnership. We know that love does not survive unless it is well-tended. We understand that sometimes we grow apart, and finding that connection again requires determination and commitment. We stay together because we are vulnerable and genuine. We fight it out when needed (rupture), and on the best days, we find our way back to each other (repair), in love in a different way. Solid partnerships are not so much about communication as they are about connection.