Tiny Experiements

I’m sharing a paraphrased excerpt from a helpful book, Tiny Experiments, by Anne-Laure Le Cunff.

This website is all about my learning in a public space. And like many people, I fear being judged. Or more accurately, I fear being being judged poorly.

Psychologists call this fear of negative evaluation, which we perceive as a genuine threat to our survival.

For many, like me, this fear is not simply psychological, but physical as well. It activates the autonomic nervous system, which can lead to a whole chorus of body responses. These physical reactions are rooted in a concrete fact: the more you put yourself out there and share in the public, the greater the chances that you will make a mistake or have your work judged unfavorably by either a thoughtful critic or a mean-spirited troll. Ugh!

Putting your work in progress out there feels dangerous when each idea risks critique, especially when you care about the work. Those critiques feel personal. So how do I contend with this fear?

I have found a path that works for me. Sharing here, on my own website, where I have control over the content and no comments turned on, is a low-stakes way to begin to learn to reduce my anxiety and still show my work. Even though there is still some fear, I take that as a sign that I am doing something I care about. By constantly showing up, the discomfort progressively subsides.

Revived

The simple act of walking to see what I might see.

Alignment

I’ve lived out of alignment for much of my life. Out of alignment with my true self. Shaped by the expectations of others. Skeleton literally curved to satisfy my own need for approval. Balanced precariously. Unable to orient myself. A body stuck in the fawn response (a cousin to the well-known fight, flight, and freeze). Center of gravity not balanced over my own feet. Not grounded in any way. Body tension that almost lifted me off the ground. Back pain, neck pain, feet pain. Digestive woes.

But now I am well on my way toward a healthy alignment. A knowledgeable physical therapist helped me to breathe my way into mobility. I spent a lot of time blowing into a kazoo, breathing to make a pinwheel spin, and blowing up a balloon over and over again. All to learn to create harmony so that my diaphragm and pelvic floor worked together.

Alignment.

A well-trained and kind counselor held up a mirror for me to see myself clearly so that I might become aware of the old patterns that no longer worked for me. To set boundaries and welcome all the parts. To heal old wounds.

Alignment.

Lifelong friends listened patiently and held space for me to change, even as the changes meant that I showed up differently for them.

Alignment.

My husband and my children supported me in ways both big and small. Plenty of times I overshot the mark, pulling us apart or smashing us together. All in pursuit of those overlapping, healthy circles the counselor described to me.

Alignment.

My favorite way to avoid discomfort is to intellectualize the problem. I tried many times and many ways to fix myself. But now I feel in my bones, I was never broken. This freedom is hard won, and still ongoing, but I can see progress every where I look. Have you ever taken pictures with a range finder camera? To focus, you line up two small boxes in the view finder. When you line those boxes up, stacked one on top of the other, the subject comes into focus and the picture turns out successfully. This is what I am trying to do in my life. Stack the pieces of myself.

In Alignment.

Tea & Cookies

Tea Infuser Collection, November 2025

Because I couldn’t decide which version of this photo I like best, there are two notebook entries for this collection of tea infusers. We love what we love, and for me, things that combine form and function are the most beautiful.

I drove an hour to the Jackson and Company Market in Gordonsville to buy this little stack of homemade cherry almond cookies. I savor one each night with a cup of decaf Lady Earl Grey tea.

It’s no small thing to take care of myself in all of these ways. Some difficult and uncomfortable: putting my work in this space and letting it land how it lands. And other ways soft and gentle: having a cookie, not because I am hungry, or because it is healthy, but simply for the joy of eating. A practice of self-love.

Cherry Almond Cookies, Jackson and Company Market, November 2025