We just returned from a weekend get-away to North Carolina where we visited my dear childhood friend, Karen and her husband. Karen and I lived next door to each other until we were almost 16 years old. We went to school together, played together, slept over at each others houses, and ushered each other into young adulthood. She knows me in my truest form because she knows my history.

I’ve been giving friendships a lot of thought. And I recently read something from the wise life coach, Sas Petherick, in the May edition of her #My Mindful Year email that resonated with me in a profound way.

In every relationship of my life, I showed up as a compromised parody of me. I spent a lot of time pretending, and lying about who I really was. So even the people who said they loved me, only loved the me I let them see. I was convinced that if they knew the real me, I would be abandoned.

And this, too . . .

Now I'm convinced that the most important relationship I will ever have is with myself.

Telling myself the truth is the foundation for every connection in my life.

Whatever anyone else thinks of me, is just not up to me.

Just because you don’t like me, that’s not a reason for me to not like me.

I just can’t say this any better. I am striving for truthful and trustful relationships. I am deeply grateful for the friends who are patient, compassionate, and forgiving as I make my way toward being the friend they deserve.

 Day 63

Day 63