I tried something new today, a meditation class. I had some reservations. I am not good at sitting still. I like to stay busy and active in both body and mind.
And I recognize that I use ‘busy’ as a way to avoid what I do not want to do or think about.
My mind can be a real asset, but it is also sometimes my enemy. It loves to critique, analyze, judge, and decide. It holds on tightly to assumptions and beliefs and the stories it makes up for me. It is responsible for the doubt and second-guessing. I’d like to befriend my mind – to convince it to concentrate on one thing at a time, to slow down, to be more open and accepting, and to help me to change.
I felt like a child first learning to ride a bike. I wobbled, veered off course, and over-corrected. To make matters more difficult, I was thoroughly enchanted by the light in the studio. I noticed this beautiful window shadow and knew this would be my photograph for the day – if the light held steady. And so, while the group teacher encouraged us to use the mantra “peace,” I repeated, “the light will hold steady, the light will hold steady, the light will hold steady.” I chased away errant thoughts with this image of shadow and light.
And finally, I managed some semblance of balance. In the end, it was exhilarating.
We can travel a long way in life and do many things, but our deepest happiness is not born from accumulating new experiences. It is born from letting go of what is unnecessary, and knowing ourselves to be always at home. ~ Sharon Salzberg