positive outlook services

I’ve just returned from a weekend visit with my dear childhood best friend.

I feel refreshed and renewed by her love for me.

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I am aware that friendships are at the heart of my happiness and well-being. But I am also keenly aware that I need to become my own best friend and to learn to reassure myself.

Life is fundamentally difficult for most of us. And it’s amazing how easily we can lose sight of all of our own good points when troubles strike.  

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This is where friendship comes in.

We need to try to become an imaginary friend to ourselves. This sounds odd, initially, because we naturally imagine a friend as someone else – not as a part of our own mind. But there is value in this concept because we know instinctively how to deploy strategies of wisdom and consolation with our friends that we stubbornly refuse to apply to ourselves. If a friend is in trouble, our first impulse is rarely to tell them that they are fundamentally a shithead and a failure. We try to reassure them that they are likable and that it’s worth investigating what might be done. A good friend likes you pretty much as you are already. Any suggestion they make, or idea they have about how you could change, builds on a background of acceptance. They don’t think there’s anything wrong with giving you a compliment or emphasizing your strengths . . . They can acknowledge the difficulties while still holding on to a memory of your virtues. It is ironic – yet hopeful – that we know quite well how to be a better friend to near strangers than we know how to be to ourselves. The hopefulness lies in the fact that we do actually already possess the relevant skills of friendship. It’s just we haven’t as yet directed them to the person who probably needs them most – namely, of course, ourselves.
— Harriet Fitch Little, How to Manage Mistakes, The Kinfolk Entrepreneur